18 levels of Hell

My first "experience" with death or rather funeral was when I was in Standard Two, age about 8 or 9 years, when my "big mother" (tuah mak) died from self-medication. The ceremony was elaborate and I didn't understand a single thing that was happening. About 5 years after that, I went through another funeral - this time it was my father. My recollection as a kid was that funerals are scary like hell. And it is meant to be. It's traumatic. Even now, after almost 40 years, images from my father's funeral is still vivid. The coffin, for one, was huge and imposing, made of very thick wood. There is one scene when the heavy lid was finally placed on top of the coffin and sealed, with 6-inch nails. When the pounding of the nails are made, the family members must turn away. I remember there was loud wailing and anguish. The sound effect from hammer on nail was just incredibly heart-wrenching. There was also alot of pantan. Other people don't want you in their homes, and you are supposed to be wearing the attire (costume) of someone mourning the death of a family member, so you don't just walk into a coffee-shop to eat your lunch or dinner. Well times have changed. People don't cry anymore, except the very old ones. In fact, I was actually making fun of my sister-in-law during a ceremony where the dutiful daughter-in-law was fanning an earthen pot over a charcoal stove to brew medicine for her mother-in-law. The ceremony was being conducted by professional funeral organisers and the lady was leaning in close up to my SIL and "crying", trying very hard to make my SIL come to tears. Later, my SIL said she avoided eye contact with the person trying to make her cry so that she wouldn't end up in tears.

I still don't understand Chinese funerals but according to Taoist, Buddhist and Chinese folklore, if you have sinned in your life, you will be judged in 10 Courts in the underworld where there are 18 levels of hell. Wealthy people who do no good or waste food will be grind (so, I guess that's why the rich give alot to charity?); if you are a sexual deviant or pervert you will be boiled in oil; corrupt officials will be dismembered by chariot; cheaters and profiteers will be made to climb mountains of knives; cold-blooded murderers will be pounded; evil people will have their hearts dugged out; peeping toms will have their eyes gorged; crooks who use loopholes in the law will be eaten by maggots; if you ill-treat your parents and elders you will be frozen into ice; and more. Scares the shit out of you yet? Yes, it's intended to do so. If you ever visit Singapore, go the the Haw Par Villa. You will be able to visit the 18 levels of Hell in all its gory glory. My young kids at that time were quite distressed after the visit. Oh, after you have been punished, they give you a portion to make you forget everything. And then you could be be reborn - as a rat, a cat, a dog, some insect.

No, this is not what Hell looks like. This was the final night after all the ceremonies and the paper house is taken to a street intersection and set on fire (permit from Fire Brigade required). Chinese burn all sorts of stuff so that the departed will not lack anything in heaven. Definitely not carbon-neutral.

Paying respect.

Part of the ensemble of Teo Chew "opera-like" funeral services. I kinda enjoyed some of it. They put in a lot of effort in the music, the singing, the chanting, costumes ... Started at 6.30 pm on the dot and ended almost close to midnight. The poster on the right depicts some of the 18 levels of Hell.

Each of the children (and in-laws?) contribute a treasure chest of gold and silver (made of incense paper, of course). So, a lot of folding and sorting.

Hey, what's this, I thought there's a funeral going on? Well, dinner was not provided so some of us went for savory pancakes at a Mall. Times have changed.

Four grand children carrying a paper sedan chair. No idea who's spirit they are carrying.

The final journey. Nowadays its mainly symbolic and covers a very short distance. In the old days, the heavy coffin would be carried for several kilometres. The guy in front is throwing "kim chuah" or golden paper to pave the way for the spirit of the departed.

At the end of certain ceremonies, those who participate wash away bad luck with Huah Chui (flower water).

It's a tradition to provide snacks to family and friends who come to visit or attend the funeral services. At the end of the funeral, usually porridge is provided with some simple vegetarian dishes or even meat. In the old days, the favourite snack was porridge with meat (Bak Moi). In fact, Chiak Bak Moi (eat meat porridge) used to be a euphemism of going to attend a funeral or to say some one has died.

After the funeral, I gave this Memorial Lecture to a group of secondary schools students ... about choosing a greener lifestyle. Attended by my wife, three children, 2 nephews, 2 brother-in-laws and 2 sister-in-laws.

Yes, I know. My brother-in-law had asked me whether burning the big house is green. Of course it is not. Some temples now forbid the burning of candles and incense paper. People are more conscious about health and environment and eventually many of these practices will die out. In the meantime, we must document them for our memories. One of the things we modified was the need to continuously burn incense paper in an earthen pot while the decease's body is waiting to be placed in the coffin. This is to guide the deceased's spirit; to make sure it does not wonder around and get lost. But the fumes from the burning was getting to us in the closed confines of the living room, so it was almost unanimously decided that it should just be symbolic.

Oh, yes, I checked. Apparently people in the olden days treated the environment will much respect. Otherwise there would have been a 19th level of Hell. Guess for what type of offenders?

The kids need to learn how to listen

After the funeral in the morning, I kept my commitment to a bunch of school kids from various schools gathered at the Chung Ling High School in Penang. I guess I should have learned from my previous experience with a primary school kids in Parit Buntar. They are restless and can't sit and listen for long periods of time.

I was totally disoriented when the moment I started talking, the kids started talking amongst themselves. That really got to me. Shhhh, and they quieted down. But not for long. Soon they are buzzying away again. I asked whether they could understand my English. Yesssss, the yelled. By then, I was no longer in the proper frame of mind to inspire and be inspired. After one hour, I said we should stop. And I asked if they had any questions. Happily, one or two asked some questions, which I didn't quite have the answers to.

After the talk, my son said "dad, not bad lah". But we know better. According to my kids this is normal. Jillian told me that in her School, even if the speaker speaks in Mandarin, the kids will listen for one or two minutes and then start talking amongst themselves. Fortunately, quite a number of students responded to my questions during my presentation. Typically, everyone will keep quiet. Even my nephews who study in Singapore say it's the same over there. Nobody will want to response to questions from the speaker. So I guess I should be grateful.

Later, my brother-in-law who has four school friends who are now headmasters say the problem is these kids take part in these activities because of the 10% allocated for co-curriculum. They join the activities just to get the points.

So, back to the drawing board if we want to reach out to the students in schools.

The Long Goodbyes

A couple of weeks ago I finished reading Mitch Albom's "The Five People you Meet in Heaven" and "Tuesdays with Morrie". Both are about dying. The book on Morrie Schwartz was also turned into a TV movie and I think it was called "The long goodbye". It's about a professor who was dying of Lou Gehrig's disease which is medically referred to as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS). What is it? It is a slow death, where you eventually lost total control of all the muscles in your body. The last organ to go is the lungs - it will collapse and suffocate you. But Morrie chose to let the world experience his "pain", to let people learn how to deal with dying, so that they can start learning how to live. He was interviewed by Ted Koppel three times on national TV. And his former favourite student, Mitch, visited him every tuesday (flying in from Chicago to Washington everytime) to write a final thesis. Each week they talked about life (marriage, the world, feeling sorry for yourself, family, emotions ... and of course about death). Morrie's medical bill was huge but the advance from the book Mitch wrote helped to pay the bills.

And as they say, the only sure thing in life are taxes and death. We know we all want to stay alive. We want to prolong life even when we know the diseases are going to get you, eventually. Cancer. Anyone of you had never had a family member die from cancer? My mom died from a brain tumour, but she lived a long life (81 years, I think). My eldest sister died from cancer which spread from the gall (age 67). Another sister is fighting stomach cancer with chemo (now finished) and Qigong. My father-in-law died of lung cancer (from years of smoking when he was younger, aged 83). Just heard that a cousin-in-law is going through chemo AND radiotherapy for brain tumour and it is driving him crazy (and everyone else around him). The costs are even crazier. A single dose of chemo at Mt Miriam Hospital is RM500. And if you are stage four, the chemo can be everyday. First they try to operate. That will put you back 60,000 to 70,000 ringgit at a private hospital (blood-suckers, aren't they?). And whether they can remove every bit of the tumour or not, you still need chemo and radio-therapy, just in case. Most of the time, the battle was lost before it started - the doctor may tell you the success rate is like less than 30%. Why do we still do it? Because we want to prolong life.

But that's only cancer. What about dementia and alzhiemer? The old people's diseases, we always say that. These diseases just suck the life out of you, and leave you bedridden (for years!), unable to eat (patients eventually have to be fed liquids through tubes stuck into the nose), and you are totally oblivious to everything that goes on around you. But we still have to prolong life - only there is no quality of life. We always joke about it : "oh no, I'm getting alzhiemer!", whenever we forget stuff or don't remember names. When do you really know when it's coming? Can we stop it dead in it's track?

Shall I go on? Diabetes, stroke, kidney failure, heart attack ... They are the "rich man's" diseases. We put too many toxins in our bodies. Don't believe them when they tell you "don't worry, it's a safe level, approved by the government and the WHO and the FDA". Yes, they are all foodgrade poisons. Classic oxymoron.

1933-2009
Goodbye, Ah Poh.
I hope the 5 people you meet in heaven bring back the memories.